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All content © 1999 - 2008
Erich Arendall
(except where noted)
Cast
Attercap.Net
Attercap.Net was a small web development company in downtown Chicago that formed shortly before and thrived during the dot-com boom. When the bubble burst, the company lost over half its employees but managed to stay afloat, surviving on its remaining clients. Still showing profit in 2004, it was bought by UberCorp. At the time, Attercap.Net believed the buy-out to be a good thing. The employees would be allowed to work independently and retain its loose atmosphere, but the resources of UberCorp would be there when needed. Over the years, however, the office has seen its share of freedoms and atmosphere lost, and moral has dropped lower and lower. Communication with UberCorp is still limited, but only time will tell how much longer the corporate commanders will allow their smaller subsidiary to remain as independent as they have.
The Staff
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Graham, Senior Programmer World-weary and cynical, Graham has been with Attercap.Net since its beginning. When it was purchased by UberCorp, Graham watched the founders of the company leave—presumably with big checks that he never even got a whiff of. Even though Graham is a problem-solver and experienced coder, he tends to respond with immediate pessimism to any new ideas or issues. He keeps his sanity safe under a large ego and through his acerbic and sarcastic sense of humor. When not coding or organizing projects for work, he often is coding and organizing projects for himself. |
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Tyler, Programmer "Every problem can be solved with the proper application of booze." Tyler is a sports nut and party animal. He funds these habits by working at Attercap.Net, or, at least clocking into the office. Always up for a party or diversion from work, Tyler still manages to get his work done on time. How he does it is a mystery to everyone else. |
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Russell, Junior Programmer & QA Bright-eyed and somewhat naive, Russell has been with Attercap.Net for a year now, but has yet to be corrupted by his coworkers—despite their many attempts. Russell—or Rusty—enjoys Disney movies, light rock and pulp sci-fiction/fantasy. Because of his boyish looks and fragile self-esteem he is painfully shy around women. Graham and Tyler have made it their mission to help this boy become a man—though their definitions of what it means to be a man may vary. |
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Bobbi, Senior Designer One of the first hires of Attercap.Net (along with Graham), Bobbi has seen her level of power dwindle as technology became paramount in the company and designs have become diminished in favor of easy code. An accomplished graphic designer, Bobbi is always willing to show off her many design awards. Bobbi lives for design and takes her work with her. Most staff members have stopped going to movies with her as her constant comments on the fonts distract them from the plot. When not investing herself in fonts and design trends, Bobbi attends liberal political rallies and other left-wing functions. Bobbi votes Green. |
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Crystal, Designer Crystal wasn't always a designer. Before the UberCorp buy-out she worked as a business analyst, determining what the customer needs really were. Apparently UberCorp didn't utilize that job description and Crystal was re-titled a designer. She's not exactly bitter about her re-positioning, but she doesn't like to talk about it when it's brought up. As her designs tend to be more precise and less cutting edge and amorphous, she is the preferred designer on projects for the programmers. In a social situation, Crystal prefers to talk about her 8 year old son, Scott. |
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Patricia, Project Manager It's Patricia's job to coordinate projects, determine who's working on what and do her best to keep people to their timelines. Patricia loves her job, mainly because it means all she has to do is schedule weekly meetings and make new charts. Patricia hates her job because she's the direct contact for the clients, which isn't so bad unless they're irate. Patricia believes every task shouldn't take more than a day. She's the office bipolar personality, best buddy one minute, enraged enemy the next—all depending on the mood of the customer. When she has time, Patricia spends her lunch breaks and post-work hours shopping for new clothes and shoes. |
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Kirk, Proofreader Kirk Gammeron is Attercap.Net's first full-time proofreader. Sure, he's a Gorn, but UberCorp is an equal opportunity employer and the lawsuits for not hiring a Gorn could be disastrous–not to mention the general physical disaster a Gorn can wreak. Kirk has shown himself to be generally pleasant and easy-going, except when it comes to spelling or grammatical mistakes. He loathes "leet" and prays his hatchlings never fall prey to the "txting" generation. |
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Shawn, Sales A we-can-do-it yes-man to the core, Shawn has helped keep Attercap.Net in business through the dot-com crash. He saw the buy-out of the company as a good thing and relished the possibilities UberCorp could bring. Having attended high school with John Jenkins, he was able to bring his friend on as office manager when the Attercap.Net founders took their checks to the bank and left. Shawn is a movie buff and current office dart champion. |
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Vincent, IT Someone has to keep all the office electronics organized and maintained. That is, theoretically, Vincent's job. And eventually he'll get to any problems reported, so long as they don't get in the way of his game-playing or music composition. It's a mystery how Vincent's cube seems to be darker than everyone else's, but no one outwardly questions it—they simply fear it. |
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Hope, Receptionist Hope has only recently been hired as the receptionist at Attercap.Net. Hope is in her early mid-twenties, has a genuine smile and it's generally agreed amongst office staff that she is a "babe." She spends most of her free time with her boyfriend, Zach. |
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John Jenkins, Office Manager When the word "smarmy" was invented, it may have been with Mr. Jenkins in mind. A smiler who sneaks in corporate policy after policy, John believes he's doing it for the good of the company. Nice on the surface, the office manager of Attercap.Net believes he's doing the right thing and a good job. Most employees think otherwise. Either Mr. Jenkins is quite the renaissance man or he simply mirrors the interests of whoever he's in conversation with. Most believe it's the latter. |
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Bill S. Preston, Equine Bill S. Preston, Equine is one of the world's few remaining unicorns. Attercap.Net acquired Bill and Ted in a client trade for their site. Bill is gentle, but has a tendency to snort derisively or stomp his foot angrily when mistaken for female. This can happen often due to his pink mane and horn, but Bill refuses to be swayed by gender stereotyping. |
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Ted Unicorn Logan The other unicorn acquired in trade by Attercap.Net, Ted does not appear to be as smart or as friendly as Bill. However, he can be swayed into manual labor with the promise of a sugar cube or heavy metal album–preferably of the early Black Sabbath era. Much to Ted's regrets he and Bill are not wild stallions or even Wyld Stallions. |
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Veronika Graham's girlfriend speaks with a vaguely eastern European accent. The two met at the Ur'Ukai Steakhouse and the relationship moved quickly from there. It's been confirmed that Veronika does have a key to Graham's place and that she knows how to hold her liquor. Beyond that, the staff is still getting to know her--hopefully Graham knows more than we do. |
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Zach Quintessential "cool guy," the good looking Zach is Hope's boyfriend. He also is a member of a rock band, performs live theater and probably paints, too. He's just that cool. While mostly ambivalent about the Attercap.Net staff, he does seem to have formed the bonds of friendship with Kirk. |
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Scott Scott is Crystal's 8 year old son. Crystal tries not to bring him around the office much, but when she does he seems to content himself with playing in an empty cubicle. When feeling a little more rambunctious, he tries to play with Russell, much to Rusty's chagrin. While he seems perfectly healthy and happy, there are rumors that he may have jaundice. (He doesn't, don't worry.) |
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